I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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