I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
