The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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