god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
