the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
