when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Sponge bath it is.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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