I hate all girls vehemently.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
