i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
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You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Randomize