I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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