Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
