Taylor Swift is so right about you.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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