We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
