I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Green mimosas i think yes
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
