i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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