Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
