OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My bed smells like the plague
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
