do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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