Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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