WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize