Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize