my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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