Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
