yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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