You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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