She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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