My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
