I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
