Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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