I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
