Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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