Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
