Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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