Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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