yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
