Pants 0. Shit 1.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
