I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
