I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm experimenting with sincerity
and you fell through a lawn chair
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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