AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
