porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The power of my boobs compel you
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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