its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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