But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
