have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
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Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
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We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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