i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
