Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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