Say something about gay babies.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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