a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
