I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize