everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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