So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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