capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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