Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
