return my video game
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
