i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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