just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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