shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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