just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize